When a loved one begins to show signs of cognitive change, it can be a confusing and emotional time. You might hear terms like ‘dementia’ or ‘Alzheimer’s,’ but the most important thing to focus on isn’t the label—it’s the person you love. This month’s blog focuses on brain change and how you can support and respond to someone who is experiencing it.
Understanding Brain Change
It’s easy to get hung up on a label like “dementia,” but the term itself is simply an umbrella for a variety of brain changes. It’s often misunderstood to be a single disease, but dementia is really a set of symptoms that can be caused by many different factors. Not all brain changes point to dementia. Things like chronic stress, medication side effects, or even vitamin deficiencies can affect a person’s memory and cognitive abilities.
Instead of focusing on a diagnosis, it’s more helpful to focus on the person you love and what they are experiencing. Paying attention to their daily challenges and what they are still able to do will give you the most valuable insights and help you provide the best possible support.
Meeting Them Where They Are
As a person’s brain changes, the way they communicate and interact with the world changes too. Behavioral shifts often begin long before loved ones recognize them. You may notice your loved one withdrawing from hobbies, becoming less interested in social activities, or acting in ways that seem uncharacteristic. These behaviors are often signs of their struggle to navigate a changing world.
Rather than trying to force your loved one back to their “old self,” you can learn to meet them where they are. Taking this approach helps preserve their dignity and sense of self-worth.
A Positive Approach to Communication
When communicating with someone who is experiencing brain change, it’s important to remember that their reality may be different from yours. Renowned dementia expert Teepa Snow’s “Positive Approach to Care” offers valuable tips for connecting with your loved one.
- Approach from the front. Always stand where the person can see you. Approach slowly and at their eye level to prevent startling them and help them feel safe.
- Keep it simple. Use short, simple sentences and speak in a calm, gentle tone. Avoid complex questions or abstract concepts that can be confusing.
- Give them time to respond. People with brain change often need more time to process what you’ve said and find the right words to reply. Be patient and wait, avoiding the urge to interrupt or fill the silence.
- Use visual cues and gestures. Point to objects you are talking about. For example, if you ask, “Do you want some water?”, hold up a glass of water. This visual support reinforces your words.
- Don’t argue or correct. This is one of the most important principles. Arguing will only cause distress and agitation. Instead of trying to convince them of “reality,” try to accept their reality in that moment. You can validate their feelings by saying, “It sounds like you’re feeling worried,” and then move on.
- Give simple choices. Offering choices gives them a sense of control and autonomy. Instead of asking, “What do you want to wear today?”, you could say, “Would you like to wear this blue shirt or this yellow shirt?” This reduces overwhelm and makes decision-making easier.
- Mirror and reflect. Repeat what they’ve said back to them to show that you’ve heard and understood. This can help them feel validated and may help them find the next word or thought they want to express.
How Hospice of Redmond Can Help
Caring for someone experiencing brain change can be overwhelming. A diagnosis, regardless of the cause, is enough to qualify for our free Transitions program at Hospice of Redmond. We provide a range of services designed to support both you and your loved one.
If you or a loved one is experiencing brain changes, please contact us at Hospice of Redmond. We’re here to provide guidance, support, and a fresh perspective on a challenging journey.
